In Rememberance....

I love to be upbeat and funny in my thoughts or ramblings. I wish that on days like today that was the tone.

It is strange how different events affect us all differently and in no way equally. The moments in my life I will never forget:

The first memory of being in church and the smell of my grandmother's skin,

The confusion of the Challenger tragedy on my young mind while the world mourned,

When my first best friend moved away forever,

That first moment when I knew God was indeed with me...and somehow would not leave me,

The patriotic feeling of writing to classmates fathers during the Desert Storm Gulf War,

Subsequently cheering for them when some of them returned to our school in a rally,

The Oklahoma City bombing tears and shock,

The sorrow of really losing someone in my life that I thought I couldn't live without...then learning to live without them,

Leaving work early because I could no longer function as the tragedy unfolding in Littleton at Columbine High School,

Feeling trapped, hopeless and helpless as the moments and seconds replayed during September 11...a horror never to be forgotten,

The overwhelming reality of meeting my son in all the drama of child-birth,

A moment of realizing that God grants second chances and dreams can come back to life,

I could go on but I will stop with those thoughts. Shaping moments in our personal lives and in history are things that mold us or move us to be better people. We often bury the bad moments away in our memories to try to forget. We forget that only in the moments of realizing our futility can we learn to be better people. Understanding that we have but one life to live should inspire us and move us to live it for a purpose.

Is there meaning in the bad, good and sometimes ugly memories? I believe without remembering ALL of them in perspective we lose sight of how important we can choose to be. I do not think that we should be in constant mourning. I do understand that without respecting how quickly loves are lost we lose track of who we should be loving the most.

I pray that God grants me the courage to press on in this life with the tenacity to take life's challenges head on and pursue my purpose. I thank God that He has not spared me the feeling of great grief so that I can embrace those I love more often, kiss my children and honor my parents while they are still here.