WALKING IT OUT

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

mother's day blah's

Mother's Day is a strange day for me. I love LOVE love Love LOve LoVE being a mommy! I so enjoy watching my children come home from school or pre-k with a cutie present made from finger paint or crazy scissor work or their own hand writing! I enjoy the moments I am blessed to spend with them all, regardless of their ages or moments of fits.

BUT... (cuz you knew there would be one) I tend to feel over worked and under appreciated during this insane day of the year. Not because anyone is lacking... and not because my kids don't love me. It's deeper than that.

I remember crying at school in Kindergarten in the "family center" ~ called that when I went to KG it is now called the Home Making Center!! Why? You ask, well, it was simple I didn't WANT to be the mommy or rock the baby or feed to family with pretend food. I WANTED TO SAVE THE WORLD IN THE PRETEND CENTER...DRESS UP LIKE BATMAN AND SAVE PEOPLE. Yep, I was that crazy girl the kids made fun of for wanting to be a "boy" when I grew up. The other kids apparently didn't watch "Gem" or "Wonder Woman" or "She-Ra" with me on Saturday mornings. But, I digress!

The story goes on and of course I have the most beautiful children in the world. No, really, I do! And I received a lot of praise from my grandmother before she passed on about how well I was doing. My own mother has come to terms with my style of mothering and has also bombarded me with compliments in the last several years on how "well" she thinks I accomplish this task. I am not honking a horn here, but merely saying that other people seem to agree that I can keep children from tearing down my home, each other and convince them to eat veggies.  This makes a good mom I know. But Wonder Woman MUST have made a fantastic mom too! No?  I personally think that she HAD to be a mom to even know how to juggle two lives!!

So, why don't I like this day?

The deep oh so inner thoughts would be: because it's not a lifestyle. I long to be honored and respected and given extra hugs, because someone WANTS TO... not because they are obligated. Example: 1) The random day of the year when my husband says, "Honey, you are the best mom in the Universe, go sit down." 2) Any one of the kids have drawn a picture or colored artwork and asks me to have it, "because you are so special mommy!"

LET'S BE HONEST...(close your eyes if you can't handle this part)
The other part of me finds that I am more anxious about this day than any other. Reasons: a) too many Mother's Day's have passed when nothing was extra ordinary, or the occasion was over looked all together. b) when something terrific did happen, I was unprepared, my reaction wasn't what anyone expected...leaving a disappointed audience. c) I have to worry about the step-mother issue with my son, the fact that I am a step-mom who doesn't get to even SEE those children on this day let alone be honored by them, and the OH-SO stressful act of purchasing gifts for the other Mother's in our lives.

There it is then... the nitty gritty truth. In all it's unholy glory and dusted off reality. ~ My family is awesome and I love them. So, why can't we choose to either find a tradition that honors the day and let it be the same each year...or leave it in the holiday trash pile with Father's Day and Halloween. I would have much less stress in my life & feel far less unwanted when everyone forgot about the day all together!

And for goodness sake... THANK A MOM TODAY!!

Labels: , ,

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home