What's your shell?

We have a hobby that takes up a ton of space but really works for us and our kids. They get to experience the joys of watching God's creation live, eat and breed, raise babies (fry) and then the fry do the same. We shield our children from the death portion by not really naming the fish and by making sure they don't see carnage.

I have my favorite types of fish and Asa has his but we both agree on the shell-dwelling community fish that have come to take over so many of our tank setups. The most fun is to watch them pick out which shell they will inhabit and usually the males and females choose their own. Then when the mood is right they will share a shell. Some species even mate for life and share the shells regardless of breeding cycles.

Watching them dash into these shells and escape virtually undetectable in most harder shells just blows me away. I was thinking today about how I wish I had a shell that was only big enough for me and (maybe) a mate. Surely there are times with this large family and all these demands make me feel like I am under attack...no choices will be the right choices, so I should just go hide. YEA! But in a longer trail of thoughts I began to realize I hide plenty. I hide behind the cooking when my kids are under my feet. I sometimes hide in the bathroom and sit in the corner to read for a few minutes (this doesn't always stop anyone). Recently I have just hide under my covers in the early morning hours when a child gets up for the day and should still be sleeping. Of course, I always take care of things and never truely hide for more than a minute or two but the thoughts today made me think.

The problem with the fish is pretty simple...they will (in the wild and aquariums) never really venture very far from their shells. In several cases these mates will only ever be one square foot from each other or their "homes" in case of pending danger. W O W. That is a tiny "foot print". In the wild, they find homes that are in areas with plenty of food that will come to them and shelter is only as far away as that little shell. The fry stay in the shell too and will be cornered to the small space by the parents.

See the problem I am having right now is that I so long for that hiding place that I am not willing to risk the danger to stray too far from home. Of course I am referring to an inner sphere of safety and not my actual home. My safety zone doesn't include: truely stepping out on faith to take on new projects, rearranging my life-style to try a new healthier way to feed my family, or making strangers needs more important than my own. The problem is that my dreams inside my heart long to travel, meet the needs of others, and help people I don't know. How can I do any of those things "stuck" to my "shell"?

I love the safety of my inner circle of friends and family but won't they still be that when I step out and take on new adventures? Won't God provide me temporary shelter from the storms of life even outside of my comfort zone? What am I missing by waiting for life to come to me??