New Work in Me (Long One)

I can’t explain in a blog just how strange and dysfunctional my childhood was but I can bet that everyone could relate or has an extended family member that can. So, I will tread carefully but just want to point out that in MY childhood, I thought things were great….sometimes…..and sometimes I was genuinely scared to death (mostly of being abandoned or forgotten and not so much injured). With that understanding, you can make sense of the childlike faith that I held to with the grip of both of my hands: “There MUST be a God and He has to protect me – SOMEHOW!”

Well, as you get older you change your ideas, but you also grasp an understanding of what was really happening in and around you as a child. So, my life seemed less scary as I got older in many senses. However, I will not lie that in other extremes my openness and ability to believe in the supernatural left me vulnerable to some pretty scary unknowns. The only thing I knew for certain was that I could feel, sometimes see and sometimes hear the supernatural realm. I had NO DOUBT in angels or demons or spirits or whatever adults wanted to call them…but I knew they were there.

Ok, so now that you think I was a strange “Sixth Sense” kid…I wasn’t!! I jokingly admit though that I saw several ‘people’ who didn’t have explanations or never seemed to stay around for an adult to witness them helping me. So, maybe I was open to the world that so many people don’t want to hear or see or feel.

When God became an understanding of something I needed as a savior for my own mistakes and to find the comfort that could fill the emptiness inside – I jumped at the chance to experience a new sense of peace. I WAS ALL IN!

Fast-forward 24 years and I am in a summer when God has OVERWHELMED me with an eye-witness view of the crazy unexplainable miracles of signs and wonders this side of Heaven. Of course, I again deal with the people who don’t want to believe me and I am alright with that too.

God has once again been pouring out love in ways that are reaching the people who are willing or maybe open to seeing, hearing or touching something beyond themselves. Gold Dust from heaven has been appearing on a lot of people in the area at different times and different churches. Jewels have dropped out of the thin air to be found to have no imperfections. I just posted on my Face Book the account of a musician who travels as a Messenger (Seer) and whose guitar frets turned to solid gold. The pours of men’s hands oozing sweet smelling oil and being able to pray with that oil to see miracles happen.

None of this is NEW….except the work God is doing in my own heart and mind. This year started for me with a revelation from God that my season for tilling the ground was coming to an end, but that I was on the mountain side and had a difficult climb to reach the promise land where my blessings would flow freely. That word was in February. March got even more difficult, I thought until April rolled around and life looked like a scary place of uncertainty with only the exception that I would hold to the promise of my God’s whisper. I can go on month by month but you can trust me that hurdles became a lot more frequent and emotionally challenging. But I held to the love that I found in the Word.

This NEW work…wow has been a long work on my heart but I am finally seeing the changes! This is my own sense of compassion for others and circumstances that can change in an instance. This is a work that has left me less afraid to be rejected and more willing to be vulnerable. These last months in this year have unraveled so many twisted lies that had become the glasses I saw my own life through. I have a clearer picture of my worthiness in the Kingdom of God’s Love. I can understand a little more that I really never understood anything about God! I am looking at the world cautiously aware that everyone longs to admit that the supernatural fascinates them and some people will deny my very testimony and I am ready to accept that too.

There really is freedom in realizing your purpose in life can not be very far away from TODAY. Because without TODAY – you’ll never get to TOMORROW – and only in living for TODAY will you ever be satisfied with the choices you make and the people you love enough to save and the courage you find to tell people the truth.

The truth is that I am free to love deeper, knowing that I will be hurt but that God will protect and mend me in His perfect way; I am at peace with the conflicts around me and my role that I can play as a Peacemaker or as a protector of my children but not as an innocent victim; I am finally at rest in the sense that rest follows me in my very long list of things to do and rest resides in my heart to know it will not all get done in one day but that is ok too.

I pray that you find yourself in such a tangible relationship with the Father’s Love and the comfort of the Cross of Jesus that you too can work through/walk through/climb over and battle this life holds for you without fear of going alone or being abandoned.