Belief

Hebrews 11:6 (Contemporary English Version)
"But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that he rewards everyone who searches for him."

1 Peter 3:11 (NIV) "He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it."

John 3:12 (NIV) "I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?"

The belief that the electricity works doesn't make it work but it allows me to not think about it every time I want to flip a switch. The reality is that the physical nature of electricity (if installed properly) will do what it is created to do...close a circuit and open it again.

So I think the heavenly principles are in my life. God's way is to bless others in your time of need and you will be blessed (maybe just in your spirit, but you receive none the less). God's way is to way the risk but to bet on the talent given to you and you will most likely be rewarded; some greater than others, but rewards always come. Do harm to yourself and you will find a trap of dispair. Love money and you will eventually met a gloomy end without relationships.

Looking at the passages that God whispered, I realize that if what the world would call "you get what you give" mentality were applied to all of God's scriptures then so many would come to know the Lord. 1 Peter speaks loudly to me, this passage so easily applies to non-believers, but the problem is without Christ how does any one fulfill this call? Hebrews is like a beacon in the dark waters of life because in the midst of grieve how many of my friends have cried out "OH God????" and then tried to deny their belief that He may exist. For me, He must exist and if so, why not chance the fruit of seeking Him? He will give me comfort, peace or at least I will be rewarded in some way.

Amazingly, I am reminded that in John, Jesus reminded his disciples that they must learn to trust his amazing stories as truth or they may never understand the Hope that lay around the corner in Him.

Am I missing out on the wonders of God, because I am busy wondering if He does in fact take care of me and do all the things He promises??? Lord, lead me to the path that is quiet enough to hear from your heart and let me be bold enough to believe that all the wonders of the world are as possible as you make them!

I'm not always original

Ok, so I realize that there is not anything "new under the sun" and I am learning to be satisfied with that. I had always wanted to think I was a wonderfully creative person that some times could come up with something new & original. I had a couple experiences around 7 years ago that really left me feeling like life hit me hard with the FACTS that there is nothing unique about me. Eventually pounding me into the life of understanding that God made me special, just not thousands of years ago. I would chuckle, but knew that in my heart I heard a voice say I was cherished but in my head I heard the "voice of reason." So, I am currently learning a valuable lesson about my self-worth and my ability to see things for the first time in my eyes regardless of how "heard of" it may be. I think that in the essence of who I am, even if I re-create or re-discover some pre-existing idea or work it would never be the same as the originators.

My Reflections:

I find myself hearing so many other people tell the story of looking at the loom up close and seeing nothing of sugnificance forming from over the creators shoulders. Or standing too close to the impressionist paintings without being able to discern what the overall captured picture will be. (You should know the rest.) But then, in a broader view, or in time after more of the creation is completed, we can see the plan all along fit perfectly together to form a masterpiece. People have told this story to translate the creators ability to map things out without it making sense to anyone "up close". Or that God, The Grand Weaver (by Ravi Z.) was knitting life moments big and small to come together and generate a masterpiece of character, integrity, and humility that becomes who we are or where our life leads us to greatness.

I was sitting alone in my thoughts for a few moments at the Grand Canyon a few days ago and just had to snap this shot. God has been showing me, that although sometimes we like to use this illustration above to describe the painful things in life that don't always make sense that there are also moments when we see clearly that the picture is small to us but ever so complicated that one could not possibly make it all at once.

I will share some more of my revelations from this vacation in future writings, but I understood in a moment that some things, even in close-up are beautifully intricate. Therefore I must remember that God has taken a complex set of circumstances to mold me into a uniquely wonderful creation who can create something or become someone like no one else.

Thank you oh mighty God, who calms my fears (of self-worth) with His love and delights in me with gladness (for I am His creation) and rejoices over me with joyful songs (which I hear echo in my heartbeats). (Taken from Zephaniah 3:17 NLT)

Where are you?

WHERE ARE YOU...... ???
My kids love to play. I don't know any child who doesn't. My favorite game is when they discover they can disappear! If they don't see you, you can't possibly see them.

I love how we resemble a small child in our lack of ability to always see a bigger perspective. What I am referring to is our ability to think that if we have blocked vision than God can't possibly be seeing our lives let alone working on our behalf.

The good news is that my Father in heaven cares so much about me that even when I complain or grumble He will still be there for me. I see that if I care so much for my children that I would love them even when they are silly or disrespectful, then how much more must my God who gave up everything for me, still Love me and give me good gifts.


Help me today to see the goodness you have given me and brought about in my life. Let me not be so silly that I think anything can separate me from the One who sees all. Amen


Phil 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

The Journey

The path of our life never seems straight and yet we can see the seams that deliver us to the moment we are in. Good or bad? The moments of my life have given me both with deep joy and the darkest of sorrows. Yet as deep and dark as those valley's may have seemed, sometimes I come out the other side realizing that they were just shallow and long. My joyful moments and times in my life of being swallowed whole by happiness can seem short and when I look back I realize they were the highest peeks that I didn't enjoy long enough to appreciate.

Our journey in life can be what we decide. I believe we should be cautious to listen to the voice of contentment that whispers wisdom to us in the mountain tops so that we not forget them in the valleys.

This picture is one of most favorite scenes I have photographed. The small looking little trail of water is surrounded by a dry creek bed until the snow melts. From shore to shore becomes a swift moving current carrying run off from the upper ground eventually to a lake off camera. I first spotted this creek bed and imagined the similarities in my own life. I am grateful for the shallow long dry seasons that don't always look so bright. I always treasure the mountain top highs a little more now in light of those days to come.

In the words of the Hebrew Traditional Morning Blessing:

Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, King of the Universe,

who establishes the footsteps of man.

Tempation Island

As any mom knows the difficult part of parenting is learning the fine line between what is too much or too little to share with them at what age.

In my home, we allow our younger children to imagine any thing and they are welcome to tell us all about the fantasy. Jacob (now 7) loved to miss his passions with fantasy stories but seemed to understand a little earlier than the rest what was real and fantasy. Not true with our almost 4 yr old. Boy, those whoppers are outrageous. So, teaching her the art of expression has caused us to make a general rule...if you want to tell us about a story or fantasy, then you need to say that BEFORE you tell anyone....(This seems to be working.) I am sure that some will disagree with our choice in this one, but it isn't bad for her either. Now, she can veer from the truth and know in advance, she will not get into trouble. But when we need her to tell us what happened then she has to leave out the parts that she "wished" had happened.

We have had the difficulty of telling lies with the other older kids. To one of them especially, this has admittedly been a temptation they can't seem to resist. They will lie about anything, no matter how big or small and really think nothing of it until questioned. We simply try to help them see the sin, the Grace God will give them, but also to see the way out before they feel trapped!

I am grateful to the truth of God's love for us in the midst of this fallen world.

1 Corinthians 10:13 declares:
"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

We just don't always want to see that in many circumstances the "way of escape" is to declare the truth, admit we are in the wrong place or heading down the wrong path and be willing to humble ourselves to find the exit.

I have learned in my own sinful nature as well as watching my young children that the temptation only gets our attention. The selfishness generally takes us toward it but pride is what determines our fall.

I pray that when I am on the wrong path, I will see the way of escape how ever it appears and that I will be willing to walk through the door. Father, thank you for the Grace you provide to us, when we look in the way of temptation, or even walk into that temptation....you are there to love us and clean us. Let us have a grateful heart and be aware of the fallen world that would try to make us stumble, or even forget that you supplied us with forgiveness. Open our eyes Lord, and hold us close. Amen.

Doing my part!

"But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased." 1 Corinthians 12:18

I know that most people who have attended church all of their lives at some point have heard this scripture in some context. So, it is no surprise that most people have an idea of what this verse should be saying to us. "Be who God created you to be in the body." I agree, I guess to a degree. But today I found a new perspective. TO be clear, the entire chapter (for context) is proving that each member of the Body of Christ should not obtain the same spiritual giftings. We do not simply have the same talent. This chapter describes the many (some unknown at the time) parts to the working physical body and how God designed them to work together.

What if God's context is not a pretty picture? What if we are one of those body parts no one thinks about? What if we are called to be the "work horse" with no real glory in this lifetime? Would we still be part of this body?

If you knew that you were going to spend your life as a part of the body and be something obscure like the liver would that journey be enough? I don't know why I said liver, there are more than a dozen parts of the human body that get no real credit, until they are missing that is. See, if I am called to be the hands or feet, that sounds noticable in some regard and the ministry can have some visible rewards.

I read a statement that declared some of us are called to a barefoot ministry while others are in designer shoes.

I thought the author was being funny, but then as I returned to the chapter and starting really thinking about my friends in different aspects of ministry I began to see the resemblence. (Although, I don't think designer shoes are a mandate of God in any circumstance!)

My friends who travel across the country without fame or glory and usually with only enough money from partners to get by would agree that a life lived for God can be a wonderously joyous life regardless of your "status" in society. They inspire me and I support their ministry which is changing the lives of people who are caught in the grip of cult life. These friends do not always see the end result of the freedom they bring to these people. They live by Faith that they are doing what God needs them to do and that He will supply all their needs.

On the other hand, I have friends who have spent their lives ministering to the inner city and have seen the blessing, and the fruit of their labor. Although, sometimes these friends do not see the good without seeing much devasation and heartbreak. I would consider these friends people who are blessed to say that they can live in a nicer home and within a short drive be in the mission field that God has called them to. (But eventually, they get to go home.)

I have other friends who decide that moving to the culture, being involved in the people's lives they are trying to reach is the place God wants them. These types of ministry can happen in another country, but they are here in America as well.
On reservations to minister to those trapped in poverty and shut out from the blessings this country can bring. In the Appalation Mountains communities where no one wants to see the devastation. In the depths of suburban gang culture where no one is reaching out in a Metropolitan area.

So, after my rabbit trail of thoughts, I bring you to what God showed me: You wonder why the Body of Christ doesn't seem to be working...there are too many parts to my design missing.

Yeah, that made some sense to me in the moment I felt the thoughts invade my thinking. How many more of these "unsung" parts should be pulling the weight for the few? How many of us are not living the life God designed for us? You know all of the people I mentioned, and trust me, they are just a few of the many active ministers I know doing work, they all love their life. Each family feels blessed and loves doing what God has designed their hearts to do.

I believe, God gave us the desires within our hearts and He created us to do what He had planned. So, when we fulfill that longing in our hearts, we infact become happier and healthier. We will also find that we will bear more spiritual fruit than ever before.

As for those designer shoes, I thought that verses 19-24 in The Message bible really helped me translate just who we should be giving recognition to!

1 Cor. 12: 19-24 "But I also want you to
think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into
self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, "Get lost; I don't need you"? Or, Head telling Foot, "You're fired; your job has been phased out"? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the "lower" the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it's a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the
part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons. If anything, you have more concern for the lower parts than the higher. If you had to choose, wouldn't you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?"

I pray, Dear Heavenly Father, that as part of the Body of Christ, you remind me that there are seasons and that there is a place for me to be who you made me. I am so thankful for your Grace that is sufficient to cover all my past mistakes and that your plan actually knew I would be right here, today, and that you already had a plan for the door to open to the daily ministry you have called me to in this season and that your plans are laid out before me for the next season, and the next. Bring to me the true desires of my heart that were there as a child, help me discern how I can use those desires for Your Glory and for Your gain. Help me see that there is peace and joy and comfort when I walk with you in your ways. Give me the heart that sees the hurting around me and the needs that I can fill.
Give me the peace to know that sometimes you expect radical change, but that most of the time you are asking me to simply start SOMETHING for YOU. AMEN.

"I am with you"

Matthew 28:20 "Surely, I am with you always."

There was a time in my life when I did not think of anything else but being pregnant and round and full of life within. I ached for a pregnancy like other women....women who knew the joy of holding their babies.... because at that time, I had not had such a privilege. My first three pregnancies ended in miscarriages. I was torn from the inside out with dispair. I was thankfully in a circle of loved ones who knew how to care for me. They gave me space, but surrounded me with support and love and tons of prayers.

Then my first full term pregnancy was littered with hormones, aches, illnesses and trauma. I felt battered from the process and thankful to still be holding a baby when the nine months was over. God did not feel very close, but he didn't feel far away either. I was in a strange place emotionally. Grief was everywhere....in my new babies cries and in my longing for what could have been....

My painful divorce shortly after that child, left what was a hole only God could fill. "I Am With You" became my anthem of a prayer in search for Him in every day.

Soon, a second chance at life and love was a joy like nothing I thought I would experience again. A joy felt through the pain, inspite of the pain, but not for long.

Another miscarriage immediately pushed me to bury the grief....all of it. Then, another unknown pregnancy and a very real miscarriage.... "No God!" I cried.... the flood gates began to open and shortly I felt some healing take place. Months went by and we discovered we were pregnant. I began to grieve my God would not continue to put me through the pain of bearing any more... pain.

Sonograms had begun to look good, but then a tear in the placenta appeared. I wept in the doctors office with the same sonogram technician who had seen all of my pregnancies. The office was mourning with me, but encouraging me that things could turn around. My neice's birthday party a few days later held the ultimate blow to my faith....I lost the baby. I lost the will to be a mother.... I didn't want to be near my family, but surrounded me for hours. My husband, I will never forget, through tears held my head in his hands and declared that he knew his eyes were not telling the whole story, but he was going to hold on to the Faith that God was going to give us a child, in fact, he was convinced that there was still a pregnancy. (No medical evidence to agree with him.) God held me...grieving

This picture was taken (believe it or not) with my second full term child who was delivered healthy. (This picture is at 8.2 months gestation.) The miscarriage I just spoke of...on my nieces birthday was a miscarriage but was not the end of that pregnancy. ???? The appointment to check on my uterus after that miscarriage was a double shock for EVERYONE! A small fetus had settled into a 12 week gestation baby.... the child lost would have been 4 weeks older than this baby, lost at 7.3 weeks.... HOW???

Believe it or not.... both children would have been lost if the first "fraternal" twin had continued to grow in my uterus. Yes, by a miracle, a had been pregnant with both babies at the time of the miscarriage. I had fraternal twins who were separated by several weeks and my doctor confirmed that this was possible but typically ended in difficultly to both the mom and the babies. He admittedly declared that some things were best left to Faith, and focused on securing this childs term to delivery. (Madisen Faith was beautiful.)

A few years later, God gave us Noah ~ plain & simple with no real worries or complications during gestation. (I posted about him earlier this month.)

God declared that He would always be with me. He didn't say I would sail through life without grieving, and He didn't promise a rose garden. In fact, he declared the opposite, in this life you will find sorrow....

The joy of this picture is far greater than parents ready for a new life. The joy of this picture is the miracle of JOY regardless of PAINFUL memories.... JOY in a life of Faith that results in knowing I can NEVER understand everything.... I don't need to .... I just need to ENJOY what is GOOD!

Joy to the Lord?

"May the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you." Numbers 6:25



What may cause the Lord's face to radiate joy?

A humble heart returning home,

a thankful heart turned to heaven in private praise,

a young child smiling at the heavenly sky in wonder,

the young boy who deepens his love for God because a man spoke truth into his life,

a new mother and father moved to joyful tears at the face of a newborn,

a laughter between a mother and child in the midst of a regular day,

the time taken to answer (again) the toddlers questions that seem so small,

the sweet whispers near a dying loved one of the bliss they are walking through while the living hold their breath because angels fill the room,

the simple action of loving someone in need with no lecture,

a warm hug to a stranger in tears,

the warmth of a lovers kiss from your spouse with spontaneity,

a life.....any life given for the sake of others?





Can anything I do generate joy for the Lord?

I think more things than we think generate a glow of joy from our heavenly Father. Why else, would parents display such strength and passion in our pride for our children at the SLIGHTEST improvement, or effort they make with all their hearts!

May I make you my proud daddy God today. Amen

To Reach Greatness!

I was listening to Moody Radio Fl today and then heard a few commercials. I turned down the radio and said a quick prayer just under my breathe, "why does it seem everyone has early registration discounts, God? There is never anything that I can just go to for free...." Sharply my mind bounced back...."Greatness requires Early Registration....to whom much is given, much is required..."

I reached in my brain archives, I could not recall ever hearing any one say that statement before. ?~ Did I just get a nugget of wisdom from God? Well, I googled the phrase and came back with nothing....

Hmmm!

Ok, so then I had to focus! Greatness, for the sake of greatness? That is NOT a God thing, but in the subject of my prayer....I was asking for something good without pre-thought or without costs. It does prove that God would not honor my desire to be lazy in that moment. So, the Word would agree that to find success, you must take risk and it will cost something. (Otherwise, why would you "count the cost"?)

I began to look deeper in my desires. I was merely thinking out loud that about how I must overthink and over-plan everything in order to find something worthwhile. I feel exhausted daily by the current planning just to make it through the week. Surely, God could understand and allow me the ability to receive something meaningful without such labor over details, right? But, the thought in my head, "Greatness requires early registration...." didn't say early payment? No, I was assuming that registration required money. So, maybe what God may require that I set out a plan but then work toward it.

Now, that still didn't answer my desire, but in a sense it did. I so often "stress forward." I tend to get caught up in stressing over details that are not yet apparent. Any level of success is an unknown. You don't know how successful something is until is materializes. Why should I become caught up in what will be? Focus on what is given to me, and investing it. Just invest. Just register......

One Year from the birth drama!

Noah's first day with us was one year ago today.

I was almost unwilling to wait any longer for him to arrive! I am so glad that he was healthy and has such a perfect little face.

His arrival was not exactly how we expected. It was beautiful and quiet for the first two hours after his birth. We cuddled and enjoyed him so much. Soon things got crazy and nurses began to scurry around like squirrels. I do not want to go into detail but I remember thinking that "this can't be happening".... Several of my nurses were ministered to by my ability to keep them laughing though everyone was rushing to find out what was wrong with me and how to stop the course my body was on. I maintained in the back of my head that somehow this was a strange opportunity to show 12 very scared nurses (they admittedly said so after is was all over) that I was not afraid to die and was certainly not going to let them make decisions without my input. It was strange, but God gave me clarity on what was happening. I knew that it was serious. I knew that Asa and my mother and two children were outside very nervous. I also knew that Asa would have a great burden to bear if something did not go well. I also knew that my God loved me, and I was going to show these 12 women that this was not a time to second guess who was in charge. (I made them call the L&D charge nurse...LOL!)

After some very scary times and several hours of pain worse than natural childbirth....I knew and so did everyone else that everything would be fine.

That's when I cried as my husband held me in his arms. Our faith was put to the test on Noah's birth(day) and we had made it through!

In the last year I have thought about that day and the subsequent days of fighting for Noah's health as well. It is AMAZING how few people believe what they say they believe. I KNOW what I believe~! I KNOW that God is amazing and the author of our fate, the Alpha and Omega. I know that HE let me have this year....and will continue to allow me the honor of raising the children in my care... but they are all His.

I am just honored to be the one who gets graced by their smiles, sticky fingers, dirty feet, runny noses and sometimes I get to see God's fingerprints come through in sweet tender moments of truth spoken by children.

I am honored to be a mom.
I am even more honored to be a mom who can cart them places and go play at school or the playground with them in the middle of the day!
I don't always enjoy this honor, but I always cherish the ability to have children, healthy children, who are not in a hospital, who are not starving, who are blessed just like me.

Bad Day or Bad Circumstances?

All bad things do not come in the same package.

I often think about the "bad things" that tend to happen to me. But I also think about how I can allow one bad thing to ruin my day or I can understand that in the course of a day, circumstances may present a bad situation. I choose what to do about it.

Choice 1: Grumble and complain or bottle up that anger and assume that bad things always happen to me.

Choice 2: Try to find the blessing despite the "bad".... yes, this is really hard sometimes! When we have a day like the picture....( the driver of the truck was not injured) and we deal with something terrible because someone ELSE made a choice. Even when we reach for a life that is no longer with us. We can decide to look for the positive things to encourage us through the situations.

I hope and pray that every day I learn to grab more of the truth of choice 2. I pray that my children see my choices and learn from them. Maybe they will see that it's ok to not like what some circumstances bring but we can always find something in our life to smile about. I can always smile about them or the silly things they say! :)

The blues

I can't help but sometimes get a feeling that the BLUES are trying to sneak up on me....

It's a good thing I know who makes the sun shine every day!

My (almost) 4 yr old helps remind me every day! Today, in the midst of tears (from having to clean her room) she started singing her own song...."Jesus can make every thing alright, oh Jesus come make my room alright, I said, God can love me in a messy room...." It trailed out of comprehension after that part!!!

Gotta Love the life god gives each of us!

Mom thoughts...family adoption....

I have had the joy of being a mom to children who could possibly be the best and the worst children. I love them dearly!

Today we celebrated my son's 7th birthday. The oldest child turned 13 this year...soon to be 14. I birthed the 7 year old but have felt the same love for the 13 yr old on their birthday. Which has made me ponder this week, how God must have designed it all.
As a mother, real motherly love can be given to anyone once you know how to find it. I mean, I know that unimaginable love I have for my child when the labor pains are over and a flood of emotions are rushing in on you. I also know that same sweet joy that builds over time with an 'adopted' child that equals the same love for a birthed child.

Adoption either physical or emotional is very much a choice though. I could choose to not open my heart to any other child but 'mine'. Some can make that choice from the beginning without really contemplating all that they will miss. There are always choices....

I have known people who will never accept a child as "family" unless they were "birthed" into that family the traditional way. It saddens me greatly now that I know the joy of the rewards. I know that those same people have the ability to love others, and do, they may even love the "unacceptable" family members to a degree. But in their hearts, those people never really see those children as "family" instead they view them as outsiders who are on the inside. (Waiting to be loved.)

God choose me. He decided to send His son, to make the "exchange" to adopt me into His "family"! The Bible describes the love of a Father who adopted us in a way that we don't deserve...we are the outsiders, but He makes us heirs to His throne, just as we were all the first born blessed son. WOW

I have the privilege of understanding His grace, and therefore I must return it by trying to show it to others. Mainly my children need to see His forgiveness, willingness to Love anyone and the compassion Christ showed others....in me!
My children are not unlike all children... they see through the crap! If I pretend to love the homeless but my kids never see me give love to them....they will know I am a fraud. The same with a child who is not completely accepted into a family. Those children (anyone's child) can and will be hurt by the hypocrisy.

I can only pray that my life can continue to reflect to them that I love each of them with a Godly love, and though I make mistakes, I am selfish more than I wish I was, and even though I can fall.....they see my desire to humble myself before God and I am transparent enough that they each know how very much I love them....I want the best for them and I will sacrifice anything in order so that they may learn just how much the Father really loves them too! I also pray for people who don't understand the Grace they can receive in Jesus. For the people who can't find it in their own hearts to love each of my children with the same Christ Love that they deserve. Father God in heaven, be with the hurting adults who have in turn hurt others, care for them where they are and heal their hearts the way only you can; help them to see that we are all the same sinners in need of your Saving Grace. Thank you for saving my life. Amen.

Y M C A .... Today's challenge

I first must say I love my YMCA for many reasons! The staff that help care for my kids have grown so attached to them over the last four years. They have watched them grow, come into this world and helped them attack new things in life like sharing, coloring, playdough, and walking. The compassion as an overall feature in the YMCA organization is well respected. Anyone should donate any thing they can to this organization.

Having said that, there are some fun quirks about my local Y. Such as, it is located in the heart of a community that is generally retired and in need of social activities. Our Y entertains line dancing, chair aerobic exercise and tons of classes adapted just for our seniors.

The funniest thing I grow impatient to is the typical way 'they' (yes, I am generalizing for the sake of space) sit or squat on equipment and just slow down everyone elses workout. Typically they work out as fast as they drive. (Depending on the driver, this is dangerous as fast or slow!)

Today, while working out I was noticing several people around me. I noticed that I was apparently irritating one of our senior members by working out with my husband. So, I took notice of what else was going on, to see if I could correct something. You know, I realized that even though my sets and my husbands sets were getting done with only using one bench....this person continued to look at us....you know, that Look your grandmother gave you when she didn't approve!

Later, on the Precor Elliptical Crosstrainer it made sense. This person who appeared to be passing judgement on me was looking at who they think I am. Just like, I assume that everyone there over 65 is like one of my grandparents!
I am wrong? I mean, my observations and opinions are from over 4 years of actual interaction...some of them the same people from 4 years ago! So, how can my irritation from THEM be the same as judgement????

Yeah, I knew in my heart that I was wrong. That I was not loving them when I passed judgement on them.
The Holy Spirit (I know) spoke to my heart...."what if that WAS your grandmother, only months after she lost her only love of her life, the person who spent every day with her for over 50 years.....what if her stare is because she lost what she sees in your eyes....."

My heart sank...... oh, God, why are you such an incredible God of humility....the God who loves me enough to ask me to change?
I love my husband with all of my heart, he oftens drives me crazy, sometimes drives me to tears, but none the less there is nothing but love for him..... My love for him is grounded in my Love from Christ.

Am I loving these people with the same love that has grounded me to commit to my husband?

I Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Lord, help me to be more understanding. Let me see a glimpse of the reality that others go through as I pass by them each day. Any one around me can be hurting beyond my imagination. Allow me to be more sensitive to their needs....but mostly to what you would have me say and do. Less of me Lord, and more of you... let my mouth not say anything unless it comes from you and let my heart find your compassion to reach out and love. Anyone. Any time. Amen.

Popularity vs Being a Slave to Christ?

The Message Bible, Galations 1

6-9"I can't believe your fickleness—how easily you have turned traitor to him who called you by the grace of Christ by embracing a variant message! It is not a minor variation, you know; it is completely other, an alien message, a no-message, a lie about God. Those who are provoking this agitation among you are turning the Message of Christ on its head.

Let me be blunt: If one of us—even if an angel from heaven!—were to preach something other than what we preached originally, let him be cursed. I said it once; I'll say it again: If anyone, regardless of reputation or credentials, preaches something other than what you received originally, let him be cursed.
10-12Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or curry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn't bother being Christ's slave. Know this—I am most emphatic here, friends—this great Message I delivered to you is not mere human optimism. I didn't receive it through the traditions, and I wasn't taught it in some school. I got it straight from God, received the Message directly from Jesus Christ. "

Wait a minute......

As I was reading Galations 1, it appears that I must have missed something. So, I opened up the Message Translation to get a more modern look at it. I was rightfully in awe! Paul was serious about speaking out against manipulating Christ's message!

What would Paul say about the Western Churches that we find all across America? Would he be pleased that they are preaching the message he was commissioned to preach? Would he speak this same sermon in Gal 1 to all of us? Are we to blame for not seeking Christ as Paul did?

I love to read Paul's sermons for the reason that I can never really imagine the live that he lived but that I can understand all of his letters. I often wonder how he can relate so to the modern era. Then, I grab a hold of this nugget, and realize that we (Americans) really are led to the slaughter by whoever sounds better. Paul is calling back those that he preached the Gospel to and expecting them to be accountable to the God who gave them salvation through Christ. To my ears and heart, this passage rings loudly to the host of church leaders across this country who, unlike Paul, yearn for the popularity versus really being a slave to Christ.

How does this affect me and you? Well, friends, Paul is asking us to return to the TRUTH of Christs message. Can you declare the statement that Paul says brought him to the mission field? Did you learn the ways of man, did you receive Christ through traditions or seminary? Or did you have a personal encounter with Christ himself who met you somewhere on an abandoned path in your life? Did you find a savior when you called out to God?

I would challenge myself, and also challenge you to reconnect with the Christ who met you in the depths of your humility! Find the Truth about who you claim to serve in the Word of God....the living breathing Life that Christ died for was YOU.....Have you left the Biblical Theology to others to discover for you OR do you know Christ's Call on your life because He has spoken to you PERSONALLY through his Word?

Be transformed by the personal encounter of calling on God and having Him met you right were you are! Read the Gospel of Jesus, read the Sermons of Paul in Galations and see what a real apostle (called by God) says about Christ's Call to us!

Lord, may you reach those that have been led to believe in the twisted lies of man....of generations of misled people who intended to gain popularity for the sake of Christ; instead of committing to be a slave for Christ and allowing Jesus to save the masses. Forgive this land of unbelieve that has left a nation crumbled in disobedience that was once held by God as blessed. Father, restore us to you, simply allow the 'crisis' of this nation to bring us humbly to your truths that may set us free. Continue to bring me to a place where I am able to be trained by leaders around me and yet still seek God's personal message to me so that I may not be led astray by those who seek to manipulate. Thank you for your living and breathing messages in the teachings in the Bible that reach me, touch my heart and give me an understanding of your amazing love for me. Amen ~

Cold Water???

Apparently, children do not care how cold water is when they want to go swimming! If anyone has experienced this same phenom they would agree. Kids set their mind around going swimming and they decide to grin and bare it!

I took my little girl who is almost four to the beach yesterday. Definitely cold for the Tampa Bay, the water was in the low 70's. Chilly for me and most lurking about the small beach we visited. My little one dived right in. She just knew that bigger people would look out for her, but she wanted to brave the chilly water long enough to say that she did it!

In my heart are desires that I know God has smiled upon, so while He is watching out for me.....will I trust him enough to run after my dreams?????

The question belongs to each of us! We must trust that our dreams propel us to only when we choose to act on them. Make choices to sometimes enjoy the life God has blessed us with. After all, we are right were He knew we would be!?!

Lord, lead me...but give me the understanding that YOU desire me to enjoy this journey - cold water and all - you desire me to laugh, love and Give. A cheerful heart must come from the joy of living this life while You oh Lord are in ultimate control. May I be a cheerful giver, and LIVE this life with the joy you promised. And remember that my Father in Heaven has declared good over my life! --- Amen ----